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How do I find a therapist?
Dear Belleruth:
I've been to a couple of counselors, several years ago. They just sat and nodded and I poured my heart out. I
never felt they offered any helpful suggestions! I quit going and started reading books, which did a world of
good! So, how do you look for and find a "counselor" like you or others whose books I've read? What training do
you have to be called a "psychotherapist?" Is there something specific to look under in the yellow pages? Can't
tell anything from the heading: counseling - marriage and family. Some of them aren't worth beans. I don't
know if it's the university/college they went to, or the philisophy of the teachers, but some can and some can't.
Do you have a central accreditation center, where we could write to find psychotherapists, like you, in our area?
How are the fees determined? Most of us are tied to what our insurance companies will or will not cover. What a
shame. I've got several of your tapes, and they are great. Thanks.
-Arianna
Dear Arianna
I'm sorry you've had such a disappointing time with the sampling of
therapists you've come into contact with. Unfortunately, a good
therapist can't be measured by his or her training, degree, orientation
or official listing, even though these things are important.
It's just that it's often a matter of the person, the quality of the
connection and the specific match of the personalities involved.
I've found that the best way to find a therapist is through word of
mouth - a recommendation from someone you know and trust, and who knows
you, and so can intuit the kind of person and approach you are likely to
respond well to.
If you don't have that option available to you, then the best thing to
do is "interview" people, either on the phone or in person, before you
"sign up" with them. You can get a pretty good feel for most people by
talking with them in this way, especially if you're willing to listen to
your gut response to them in the first few minutes of contact.
If the therapist won't allow you to do this, then go on to the next name
on your list!
Good luck to you, and don't give up. There really are good therapists,
counselors and "shrinks" out there.
(By the way, a therapist can be a psychologist, social worker,
psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse, counselor, pastor, etc etc. Lots of
confusing categories!) Good luck!
All best,
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