One Man’s Emergence from Grief and Heartbreak
We got this really beautiful note last week from a man who'd suffered the terrible loss of his soul-mate and life partner to complications from Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. It's a wonderfully honest and eloquent description of a person's journey through grief and heartbreak to healing and growth - and very inspiring. Here it is:
"This isn't a question - it's a great big Thank You Note!
"My soul-mate and life partner, died in May of this year due to complications from chemo and radiation treatments for Non-Hodgkins lymphoma (actual cause of death was end-stage lung disease - not a nice condition).
"She was diagnosed with NHL in 1998 and had multiple therapies. However, her remissions were never long lasting. Towards the end of her physical life, we had some really awesome conversations, and I was able to hear her beautiful wishes for me.
I made sure she knew what an honor it was for me to be her caregiver and to walk beside her during our time together. She was a beautiful, happy woman, my little bird, and I miss her very much.
"After she died, I felt totally lost and undone. I had been so busy taking care of everything for so long that I had no idea what to do with myself and all the extra time. I found it super hard to sit still - for a couple of months I fidgeted constantly. Physically, emotionally and spiritually I was on edge and still on high alert.
"On one of my forays through our books and papers, I found a set of your CDs that she had given me for my birthday (the PTSD set). I hadn't had time to listen to them then, but now I had plenty of time. I started with Relaxation and Wellness.
"As I listened, it felt like you were speaking exactly what I needed to hear, and speaking it directly to me! The music opened my heart and led the words inside (I'm a composer and this is a very natural part of the creative process for me).
"The more I listened, the more I looked forward to spending time in those beautiful safe places. The pain of losing her is still with me, only now I'm learning to let it do it's cleansing work. I know eventually the pain will lessen and won't be as raw. So, I keep doing the things that I know are good for me each day, and I look for the wisdom that will present itself.
"Over the past several months I've listened to more of your CDs and I'm noticing beautiful, precious changes in my life. No longer restless, my heart and my spirit have opened, and I'm joyfully expectant to see the next part of my life take shape.
"I've told all my good friends that when I listen to you speak, it's like feeling the arms of God wrapping me in love, nurturing me, lifting me to a place of joy and possibilities! Thank you so very much, Belleruth, for sharing your gifts with me during the toughest 'hike' of my life. I am inspired by you to live into my full potential, whatever that may be!