Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
--From Anthem, by Leonard Cohen
If you've recently had your heart broken, experienced a divorce, break-up or another form of loss, there is no doubt you have heard all the platitudes. "There's more room in a broken heart; he/she wasn't right for you; there's a lid for every pot; there's plenty of fish in the sea; when one door closes..."
People who say those things to you are trying to help, but all you hear is, "Suck it up, man up (especially if you are male); get over it; move on; find someone else." When you're hurting, these things are hard to hear, harder to do and not at all what you should be doing.
My former husband left me (we were in our early-to-late fifties, he being five years younger) after almost twenty years of marriage, saying he wanted to find his "soul mate."
What he didn't say was that he had already found her about two-and-a-half years before that. They had been meeting in secret and also having phone conversations --- 90 in one year alone, that I counted on phone statements that I requested from the phone company.
He and his "friend and confidante," as he referred to her, denied a sexual affair. They said their romantic relationship started two months after he left me, which, coincidentally enough, is also when he made his "friend and confidante" the beneficiary of his life insurance policy, removing our son from it. Is that the behavior of a man who has known a woman for only two months? Well, okay, maybe an imprudent, impulsive man of poor judgment who is impelled by hormones.
I am using your CD Heartbreak, Abandonment and Betrayal and am having a struggle. In the CD you call upon our ancestors to help protect us... but my ancestors are the reason I have an abandonment, heartbreak, betrayal issue in the first place... grandfather, father, uncle. They are all dead now and part of my lineage, but very clearly helped to create my initial wounding that has been activated by a present day heartbreak. I feel myself freeze when I hear the word ancestors... can you help in some way with a suggestion?