We got this question from a man asking about guided imagery for healthy boundaries and BR replied that she inadvertently already answered that question the previous week when dealing with a query about guided imagery to help with codependency issues, because they are different faces to the same coin. See below:
Do you have any guided imagery for healthy boundaries?
Researchers from the University of Alicante in Alicante, Spain, performed a randomized controlled study to evaluate the impact of the Relaxation Response on enhancing the psychological well-being and modulating the immune responses of elderly people living in a residential facility when compared to a waitlist control group.
The study included a 2-week intervention period and a 3-month follow-up period. The main outcome variables were psychological well-being and quality of life, biomedical variables, and immune changes from the pre-treatment to post-treatment and follow-up periods.
Posted: December 17, 2013
We love all of our special holiday gift packs, but there is a good reason so many people are ordering our Holiday Self-Healing Gift Pack, with its soothing audio programs, Peaceful Mind Candle and Little Heartbeat Pillow. We are also experiencing increased interest in our Healthful Sleep and all the audio programs dedicated to relieving stress and soothing the psyche during this hectic time.
While there are no hard statistics on the number of people who experience holiday burn-out, or the extent of the symptoms they experience, it is a fact that extreme stress from the additional burden of holiday chores alone is enough to send most people into a state of burn-out. Holiday burn-out is characterized by feelings of desperation, frustration, mental and physical exhaustion, even anxiety and depression, brought on by an inability to keep up with a frantic pace. Additional responsibilities that complicate already overloaded schedules and impossibly high expectations often create an overwhelming sense of disappointment, rather than the joyous holiday spirit the season promises.
Each year, between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, virtually every community in the nation experiences record numbers of incidents involving people who are pushed beyond their limits. For example, incidents of domestic disturbances, which include everything from family squabbles to domestic violence, are at least three times higher during the holidays, DUI offenses increase significantly, as well as reports of robbery, burglary and shoplifting, and the number of emergency admissions to mental health facilities (often due to drug or alcohol abuse) is sharply increased.
Susan sat in front of me staring out the window. She smoothed some stray gray hairs around her right ear, sighed, and said, “I’m 63 years old for heaven’s sake; it’s time that I learn to love myself. That’s why I’m here.”
I asked her to number her self-love on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being rich with self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-cherishing and 1 being total self-loathing. She told me that she was a solid 4.
And so we began our work together. My heart goes out to the men and women who struggle with self-love. In fact, at some point in therapy, even when self-love isn’t the presenting issue, I always ask, “Do you love yourself?” The answer is usually a surprised look, and a tentative, “I don’t think so,” or “I don’t know.” Very few answer with a resounding ‘yes!’
Personally, I think we suffer an epidemic of self-loathers, or at least self-dislikers. And yet, as with many disorders, this epidemic is based on distorted thoughts, misperceptions, and mind traps. Once a person claims their birthright of self-love, everything in life becomes easier – from work to relationships to simply looking in a mirror.
One summer afternoon, many years ago, a colleague of mine confided to me, “I have really, really ugly legs. Bad, bad-looking knees.” We were sitting in the hospital garden having lunch and talking about work, and I wasn't sure I’d heard her correctly. By most accounts, this woman had a bubbly personality, a sunny smile, and a pretty normal looking body (whatever that means). She was also professionally accomplished, had a loving family, etc. etc. To be quite honest, she had worn a skirt to work on a number of occasions, and I had never noticed her legs one way or the other. Quickly I glanced down at them, and then looked her in the eyes. I said, with no flattery intended, “I really don’t see what you’re talking about.” Mind you, I was probably much more aware of my hair at that moment – which was an odd combination of flatness and frizz from the humidity, a stray tendril clinging moistly to my temple. Not exactly my most camera-ready look. I’ve had lifelong hair angst, but have surrendered to the fact that it will never be thick, lustrous, well-behaved, shampoo-ad type of hair. And at this point, it doesn’t really bother me all that much. Truly. But it did throughout my adolescence and teens and probably through college as well. I tortured it with highlights and perms and had numerous hair disasters along the way.