This question came not long ago:

Hi, I had a psychic reading that made me miserable. Won't go into details, but I am still hurt one month after the reading. Worst of all, the psychic has a popular reputation, and everyone seems to tell me how accurate he is.

In my situation though, I wanted to ask about my career because I was unemployed at that time. Yet, he chose to spoke about my love life and told me I had no luck in love in New Zealand.  But the worst thing was he recommended I return to my home country (I am Asian)...and what he did not know was I am much more unlucky in love there, because over there, people my age (29!) are considered over the hill and "old maids". However, he made plenty more assumptions about my culture that was not true, as well, and used them as basis for my going back.

Shortly after the reading (and many tears) I miraculously found a job that I liked. But it's too late. Since that reading, I've been so miserable. While my original worry about my career is lessening.... now, he's directed my fear to my pathetic romantic life, and confusion whether to stay or go. Because if what he says about my shitty love life is true, then why fullfil my hope of a successful career in New Zealand and end up a spinster? I have been more confused, upset, and not to mention offended by his reading.

He kept telling me I was stupid, and made lots of derogatory remarks about my astrological make-up. While I do appreciate honesty and bluntness in psychics, I really felt he overstepped the mark this time, not allowing me to ask my question, and then talking about something else I was not interested to know about. I mean, sure, I'd like to find love, but that was not my main purpose of seeing him. I suspect he was a little racist, or somewhat ignorant about my cultural background as well.

I felt inspired to send him a letter that i wrote telling him exactly how I felt. I do not need compensation, but I felt he needed to know....I have written the letter, to let out my emotions, but still feel no peace, until I have sent it. Do you think it's a good idea to send it to him, under an anonymous name?

Are there any guided imagery programs you recommend to clear this from my system, because it is making me VERY depressed, but the last thing I want to do is see another psychic. I wish I hadn't seen him, so that I could enjoy my job and be blissfully ignorant that the trade off for this is the lack of a love life. I don't believe my love life should only be limited to one country, but according to him, it really is.

Dear Lila,
Yikes!   You're giving way too much power to this jerk, to allow him to wreck your ideas and hopes about your own future.  C'mon, girl!!  Snap out of it!!  This guy is bogus - I don't care what you were told about his reputation!!

First of all, as any reputable psychic will tell you, no reader is right 100% of the time, and in fact, all they can read psychically is your probable future at that moment. You can step out of that chair and change your future to a parallel probability in the next minute.  So that's first of all. Nothing is written in stone

Second of all, any psychic who is this insulting, disempowering and abusive, not to mention racist, is no psychic (or person) worth your time or money.  The first rule of ESP etiquette is to say nothing that takes away options and choice, or that frightens or discourages a person.  So, typically, if a responsible psychic were to, let's say, see a probable future of someone having an automobile accident, he or she might give the information as a warning against being overly lead-footed on the accelerator, or about staying attentive and not getting distracted while driving – but never to say "You're going to get into an accident".  By framing the information in a responsible way, the psychic allows the client to change the probable direction that things are heading toward in a more choiceful and safe way. And the good ones all know how to do that.

Third of all, no psychic worth his chops would tell you what to do.  They aren’t supposed to do that – not their job.  Nor would they say that your romantic options are limited by geography. If your energy and circumstances and readiness for a relationship are getting activated, it will happen in Australia, Asia or Antarctica!

This guy is either a bullying sadist, or a jerk having a bad day, and taking it out on you - and charging you for it, to boot!…Or who knows?  Maybe he’s got some nefarious agenda to drive all the Asians out of New Zealand by giving bogus psychic readings!!  Whatever is motivating this punk, one thing’s for sure: he’s got no business giving readings.

My general suggestion to you would be to stop giving away your power to other people, letting random "experts" determine your mood, your future, your worth.  Enjoy your new job.  Stay in New Zealand if that’s where things are breaking for you.  Remember that love can find you anywhere, especially if you keep your heart open, and your mind sharp and clear for discriminating between the toads and the princes.

Send the letter if it will make you feel better. Sign it and own it, by all means.  Feel free to send my reply to you as well, if you want some ballast. Or don’t send it.  It doesn’t matter, because what he thinks doesn’t matter – it’s only worth doing if it helps you in some way.  Or take a ritual bath, whereby you cleanse yourself of the toxic gunk he left you with.  Or smudge him out of your field.  But no matter what you do, I hope you stop letting him limit your options. Stick with people who value you and help you stay true to your own opinions. 

Perhaps our Self-Confidence imagery would help. Also, David Illig's Self-Esteem CD is terrific imagery for this issue.

Good luck to you and thanks so much for the question, because it speaks to a lot of misunderstandings people have about psychic readings.  I wonder how many others have had similar experiences, or ponder these issues about what psychics can or cannot do, or wonder about the parallel probabilities for the future… 
All best,